Martial artists are crazy.
Aside from people in the military, police and bouncers, who really goes around getting into fights on a regular basis?
We put our bodies through hell, all the time, training for something we will (hopefully) never have to do.
Well, I’ve got another reason:
Funny stories.
The crazy hobby that we all enjoy ends up being the source of countless “It seemed like a good idea at the time” and “Check out this scar” stories.
Send me your crazy, funny or just plain weird training stories, and I’ll feature them right here!
I have a few of my own, so here’s a choice cut from the vault of Dan (It’s only fair if I start this off):
A few years back, I discovered an Aikido club near me. I’ve always wanted to learn, and the price was crazy ($20 a month!).
I attended two classes. No complaints.
During the second class, a larger man wearing a frayed black belt enters the gym. Everyone kind of gets that hush that you usually only see in movies when the ‘wrong person’ enters a bar.
He proceeds to correct some technique, ask me how I’m doing (because I’m a new face) and then leaves to get something from his car.
Everyone begins talking in hushed tones. I ask what’s up, since I want to know what’s going on.
In my first class, I had been told the original instructor had taken a leave. I figured it was to do some intensive training, go on vacation, whatever.
But no.
Apparently, this guy had some mental issues and was voluntold to check himself into a facility. And not the fun “Oh, that Patch Adams is delightfully odd” mental issues, but the “he’s a paranoid schizophrenic” mental issues.
So now I’m in a class with a very large, very-much crazy, Aikido black belt.
He comes back. Everything’s going fine.
He asks everyone to gather round on the mat. We do.
The conversation then quickly spirals into crazy town. I don’t remember it word-for-word, so here’s the bullet points:
• “I am shogun, and sometimes shogun has to step up and show that he’s shogun”
• Something about the evil medical conspiracy
(for those of you keeping score: we now have a very large, possibly crazy, absolutely off his friggin’ meds, Aikido black belt)
• He gives up bamboo plants (that’s what he left to get) as a gift. That’s kind of neat..
• He (and this is where the real fun begins) produces a wooden katana and samurai dagger (I forget the name.. wakizashi?)
• He wants us to commit a fake seppuku (ritual suicide) to show how regretful we are are turning against our shogun.
And that’s when I got up, walked backwards towards the door, and never came back.
If a guy thinks he can get you to fake kill yourself, I don’t want to know what he’ll think of next.
So there you have it! I’ve laid a little bit of my history out for you to laugh at, so what’s your story?
